Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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