(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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