He disabled his match.com account in front of me
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
