Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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