I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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