wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
