so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
