we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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