Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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