yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
