Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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