He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
