So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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