Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
