i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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