tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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