We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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