No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
