peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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