he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize