He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
