I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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