I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
two words...techno handjob
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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