How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
