you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
