What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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