Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
