Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
