i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
