I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
