I never want to see another naked old woman again.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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