So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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