So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
