A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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