I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
