Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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