big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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