I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
