Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
