Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
