didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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