Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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