I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't put those talents on a resume
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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