its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
