I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
