Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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