yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
