Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
