i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
ttyl tear gas
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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