whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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