I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize