i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
