why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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