No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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