if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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