i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
