he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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