I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
