Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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