I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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